How to Be a Dictator by Mikal Hem

Author:Mikal Hem
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Arcade Publishing
Published: 2017-02-15T05:00:00+00:00

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BE SURE TO SLEEP AROUND

AMONG DICTATORS PAST AND PRESENT are people with astonishing sexual appetites. Perhaps the reason for this is simple: faced with limitless available sex, any person would be like a kid in a candy store. Or maybe dictatorship appeals to those with such enormous egos that they require constant stimulation and satisfaction. If that’s true, it could be the sex drive itself that propels a person to the top of the heap. Whatever the reason, as dictator, you typically have access to all the sexual action you could desire, and the dictators before you have established precedents for how to enjoy a thriving and imaginative sex life.

A number of history’s most brutal dictators have been notorious skirt chasers. Some have been particularly kinky, and as a general rule, dictators are egotistical and not terribly considerate lovers. For example, Benito Mussolini would content himself with a quickie at his desk, often without removing his clothes.

“Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,” Henry Kissinger replied when Mao Zedong asked him how a fat man like himself attracted so many women. During a Chinese summit, Mao, for his part, offered to ship ten million Chinese women back to the United States for Kissinger. “You know, China is a very poor country. We don’t have much. What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands.” A few minutes later he raised his offer: “Do you want our Chinese women? We can give you ten million. We have too many women. They give birth to children and our children are too many.” Kissinger answered quickly and disarmingly, “That’s such a new proposition, we will have to study it.”

When one of Mao’s advisers later pointed out that people might not appreciate the comment, Mao excused himself to his female translator, and Mao and Kissinger agreed to drop the remarks from the official minutes. The story wasn’t made public until thirty-five years later.

Power is sexy, and absolute power is seemingly irresistible. Obviously, though, dictators have another advantage when it comes to attracting women: their subjects must comply. Rejecting a flirtatious despot can have fatal consequences.

If power is sexy, sex can also be a tool for power. King Ibn Saud, the founder of Saudi Arabia, united the nation by marrying women from more than thirty of the country’s many tribes. He always had four wives, four concubines, and four female slaves at his beck and call. When one of the tribes spread rumors about the king’s decreasing virility, he paid them a visit and took the virginity of all the tribe’s young girls. He bragged that during his life he had taken the virginity of seven hundred girls.

When it comes to dictators, Adolf Hitler was among the kinkiest, and the German Nazi leader demonstrated clear masochistic tendencies. Immediately after coming to power, Hitler entered into a relationship with the beautiful nineteen-year-old movie star Renate Müller. As she told movie director Alfred

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